#rant. We're Alice's school and we...

Didn't let her have pink OR blonde OR black and blonde hair, because it was INAPPROPRIATE. The colour of my hair does NOT reflect my schoolwork (although, ironically, it was when I dyed my hair brown that my excellent work started its long descent into D grade), it affected others as they got distracted. Bully for them.

Make her go REALLY cold in winter, as we like to take students' cardigans and hoodies and jumpers and make them FREEZE so we can see their shivery little forms and cackle while wearing our M&S jumpers and drinking Earl Gray tea. (Okay, so they probably DIDN'T do that, but they are MASSIVE DICKS.)

Employ George Lamb wannabees specifically to piss off Alice Scott as we want to get her excited about education on the LAST year and then she can cry because she never ever got to steal Mr Sharpes shoes even though they would be far too big for her as she has weeny lickle feet (size 3) but would still fetch a good price from a indie twerp buying them off ebay. -breeeathe-

Take away the ONLY hottest employed teacher (Mr Warren) who looked like a apprentice star and Rav Wilding mixed up, and who fondly called me and Mannon cunt "The Hair Bear Bunch", how sweet. We did this to keep her going to school, and never gave her a taught lesson by him.

Put on Alice's exam timetable that she has an exam on this day, but secretly it's so she'll exercise and get skinny because we're sick of the school getting smashed each morning when she rolls (usually late) into school. Instead, she didn't have an exam, but it was funny knowing that she had to walk there and back and even went to a revision session in the morning.